Chico's Tacos

I remember growing up in El Paso and one of the few places still in business is Chico's Tacos. Chico's is unlike any place you've been to before. The tacos are not the Taco Bell crappy kind. These tacos are rolled and served in a sauce with cheese on top. Anyone who is from El Paso either loves or hates Chico's. It's kinda like being from Chicago and being a sox or a Cubs fan.

Most people I've met that love Chico's remember the first time they ever went to Chico's. My first time was when I was in high school and my dad took me there after a dentists appointment (at least I think that was when it was). From that point on I've been a "Chico-ist." Where else can you feed three people for under $12? I'm a second generation "Chico-ist," and if (heaven forbid) I have kids, they will go when they are old enough to appreciate it. I remember playing on the arcade games they had there back in the late 80's, hanging out with my friends. It was a place to go and get a decent meal for CHEAP.

A few years ago when I was living in Albuquerque, we drove down to El Paso to get away for a few days. The first stop we made was at Chico's. Here we are having drove almost six hours and the first thing we do is go to Chico's. The funny thing is that the woman in line in-front of us just flew in from Santa Barbara, California. This was her first stop as well.

Like I said about Chico's, either you love them or hate them.

What the Hell Happened to Good music?

Since when did music become crap? I remember when you had good music playing on the radio. Classic bands like, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Bob Marley & the Wailers, Led Zepplin, even Deep Purple was cool. But alas, they have gone the way of the dinosaur thanks to pop-icons like P.Dumbass. All good music is to them is something to steal and re-issue as an original. Why can't he steal from crappy artists like Michael Bolton, Kenny Gorelick (G), Brittany Spears, or, heaven forbid, Hanson. It's because even someone as talentless as he is, he knows good music from bad. I feel that they need to gather up all these musical hacks and make them listen to their own crap. I guaRANTee that they will quit the music business for good, or at least have to go into therapy for the damage that they are causing. Why can't I sue the music industry for making crappy music? We can sue the tobacco industry for the damage smoking causes. So why can't we sue the music industry for making our kids into weak-assed pussies?

Why the disclaimer?

I've had to include a disclaimer on my blogsite because there are some people out there who I may have offended by what I have said. I've titled this blog-Rants, becasue that's what I do. I Rant, about my life, what I think, what I feel, whatever is on my mind. Having grown up with a hyper-active imagination (some doctors have called it schizophrenia) has caused me to write about anything as if it were true. There are times that I will write things as if I had done them, but in "reality," they are nothing more than me venting how I feel and think.

What is truth? Truth is whatever you percieve as being "real." Reality is nothing more than a delusion for the bullshit you put up with every day.

To those of you whom have taken this blog as being "factual," I'm sorry to have offened you. Like the disclaimer says, some of this is true and some is fiction, but it is up to the read to determine what is "real" and what is fiction.

"No Comment"

What does "no comment" mean to you?

Here's what it means to me. A person choses not to comment because I have called them on their crap. I can take just about anything in the world but a person who lies or steals to/from me. Whenever I call you on your bullshite the least you can do is try to defend your position, unless you know that I'm right. Wow, for the first time in my life I've been right about something.

I wish for once you people would use some venom when you respond to what I have to write. Are you afraid that you may hurt my feelings? Or is it becasue I've given you all a taste of the shit you try to put on others? If you've read anything I've had to say, you'll know it takes a whole hell of a lot to hurt me. I'm tired of you weak-assed simpletons. There are a few of you out there who read this who's opinions do matter to me and you know who you are.

This is on a serious note.

I got a call from my sister the other day. She just got word that her suegra (mother-in-law), is fading fast. She had been fighting cancer for a while now and in Janurary she had gotten a clean bill of health. This past week it has resurfaced with a vengance. It's spread throughout her entire body and the prognosis isn't good. We all have faith and hope that she will get through this. Everyone out there please say and extra prayer for her and keep her, and those who are less fortuante, in your thoughts. Remember than no matter how bad things are in your life, there are those out there for whom things are worse.

My brother-in-law is the oldest of four children (Omar, forgive me if I get any of this wrong) and has been the father figure for his siblings. He's also been a bit of a grounding incluence on my sister. I want him to know, that in good times and in bad, that he has more than just his immediate family there for him. I may not be able to help much, but I am here for him if he needs someone to talk to, no judgements, no need for pretense. I consider him to be more than just my brother-in-law, but more of a brother, slightly younger, but still. Times are going to be rough and he'll need someone he can talk to. I know that he has a hard time opening-up to others, truly exposing his weaknesses, frailties, and fears. He needs to know that he's not alone.

YITB
Gamma-Gamma 474

Ok, this is not so much of a rant today as it is a diary now--at least for today.

Was up surfing the net last night and found out a guy I know is playing the comedy club in El Paso today. His name is Freddy Soto and he is funny as shit! He's the first comedian from El Paso that I know of to have made it somewhat "big." He's not one of these polically correct pussies, he tells it how it really is. He had done the Three Amigos Comedy Tour a few years back. I hope that he remembers who I am, then again I hope I remember who I am. Check him out if you get a chance. If racial humor offends you, then don't go. He's not racists-it's kind of hard to be racists when you grow up poor, especially in a town like El Paso.

Believe me I never knew what racism was until I was in the Navy. Sure when I was a kid we'd tell black and Mexican jokes, but mostly we heard them from our black and Mexican friends. When you hear a racial joke from the race it's about, it's not considered racist. If I had told it, I would be called a racist, just becasue I am Caucasian. Never mind that part of my family came here from Mexico, to most people I am "white." I feel that humor is a way to see what is wrong (and right) with our society today. The funny thing is that the majority of "white" people are not racist, buit yet we are told we are by the "minorities" in our country. I think Chris Rock had it right when he said that black people are more racist than whites. I don't hate a minority, sure I can hate a person, but not based off of their ethnicity or color. I treat everyone equally--I hate them all. No not really, I treat everyone the way I want to be treated. You're cool with me, I'm cool with you. Fuck with me, sure and I'll fuck with you.

People in America are too damn uptight. No wonder kids are going into schools killing anything that moves. Our society, the alleged "melting pot," is more segregated than ever. If we want to eliminate racism, we need to look at each other as people, not as a color or ethnicity. Sure those of us who are in a minority still need to remember our heritage and our culture and celebrate it every chance we get. But, we should never use it to keep us apart from the rest of our society. Before you stereotype someone, get to know them or at least learn about their culture and heritage. Yes, there are people out there who live up the stereotypes we have, but these people are the minority for the most part.

I have friends who are Mexican, Puerto Rican, Nigerian, Asian (Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and even Vietnamese), Indian (native and Asian), Irish, English, German, Scottish, Black, Chech, Polish, Italian, Bosnian, Palestinian, Lebanese, Iranian, Egyptian, Jewish, and even "white," whatever the hell that means these days. Never in all the time that I have known these people have I looked at them as being anything other than a person. Never once have they looked at me as anything other than who I am. I may tell them a racial joke, and nine times out of ten, they have a better one about their ethnicity.

Trace you family's heritage and a guarantee that most of you "white" people will find that you are made up of many different ethnicities. My mother's heritage is Irish, Mexican, German, Iriquois, Tarahumara, and Dutch (that I know of). My father's heritage is Irish, Welsh, English (unfortuantely), German, Austrian, Cuban, and maybe a few I don't even know about. But yet you can look at either one of them and see them as "white." I sometimes will tell a joke about any one of these groups and peopel get offended that I am telling a racists joke. I tell them, "It's not racist, becasue I'm not offended." Sometimes I have to let them know a bit about my heritage afterwards, which lessens these people's being offended, but that takes away from the joke. Jokes are just that, a fucking joke. Like I once heard, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

Let's see, today has been pretty good, even though I have had 3 tests today and had to write a paper.
I just want everyone out there in "Blogland" to know that I do have a link for comments on this, but it's for comments(input) on what I write, not to be used as a attack on me. You can attack my writing, but don't attack me. Most of you don't know me personally, just as I don't know most of you all. This should be used a a forum for creativity, not a place to vent your frustrations on others. IT's ok to vent your frustrations on your own blog site, but not in the comments section. Let's grow the fuck up and stop the inane sniping at others on the comments.

Let's see, I'm going to try to write this thing while I'm off-line and see how it works.

I've been seeing this girl since around the time of my birthday and she doesn't quite "get" me either. What the hell is wrong with people. Sure, I've lived an intresting life, have had a lot of bad things happen to me. But just when you start getting to know someone, they start to freak out and don't know if they can believe you. Why can't I find someone who understands what life is really like? I've seen and done things that would shock and amaze most people. I've also done things that would disgust most people, all in the name of doing what I needed to do to get a job done. LIfe is a zero-sum equation. You come into this world with nothing and you leave with nothing, but you can at least do your damnedist to survive. I've had one of my best friends from high school commit suicide, found my grandmother dead, and even had to take the life of someone to defend myself. Does any of this make me a bad person? I don't know, but I sure feel shitty most of the time about these things and about the fact that once I get close to someone, they don't know what to do.

When Nolan (my friend) killed himself, it was right after he got back from his second tour in the Gulf. He was having problems at home, his wife was running up an incredible amount of debt. He didn't make a whole hell of a lot of money, but he did have sea-pay, so it helped a bit. The day before he did it, he called his parents up to see if he could sell some of his things to them so he could raise some money. He told his mom that he wasn't planning on getting a divorce (he was Catholic), but was going to go to marriage counseling. I tried to call him about 3 days prior to all of this, but his bitch wife answered. Let me tell you something about her, she was just like the BITCH QUEEN. When Nolan got married, I wasn't even invited to the wedding. I went anyways as a friend of the family. At the recieving line at the end of the ceremony, everyone was happy and smiles until I got to her and her face just dropped. I had a big shit eating grin and said, "you couldn't keep me out of coming to this if you had tried." She even tried to get someone else to be the best man at the ceremony instead of Jason (my other best friend).

I lost it when I heard about Nolan killing himslef, but I kept on going. I had a job to do and I was going to do it. I found out the day of the funeral and was nowhere near where the service was going to be. I managed to get to El Paso the next day and spent about an hour with his mother, just talking about things and let her know that if there was anything she needed to let me know. She told me that the bitch had burned all of his things and she had nothing to remember him by except for pictures. I then took off my Navy ring and told her that it was his. I told her that he gave it to me to hold onto in case anything bad were to happen to him. I don't know where his parents live these days, but I hope I gave thim something to hold onto.

More later.

Not much to talk about today, or yesterday for that matter. But knowing me, I can always find something to talk about. Nevermind if it's not insightful or if it even makes sense, but hell, I love to talk about anything and everything.

Lately I've been busy studying and trying to get a business proposal together to open my own restaurant. Don't know if it'll work, but hell, I've got to give it a shot. I've learned throughout the years that there are three things you need to have in order to be successful in the restaurant industry.
1. Good Product
2. Good Prices
3. Good service.
With two of those three things you can be successful-I still don't know how most fast-food places stay in business considering the food is crap and the service sucks. Think about your favorite restaurant and ask yourself why it's your favorite. Which one of these things apply to it? Most of the time you'll find that it's only the food and the service, or food and price, or price and service, but very rarely is it all three.
The last place I managed for didn't have any of the three, but yet they are still around. Anyone who's been to a Jillian's can attest to that, or at least the one in Houston. I want to open a place that has all three things and still be able to make it profitable. We shall see how it works out. I have a meeting today with the small business association to put together a loan package. If it works out-great, if not;I may have to find private investors.

That's just a little bit for today. Be back later, once something pisses me off.

I was brainstorming last night with Dave on line and we came up with some good ideas for 'reality" shows. How about "Quarters?" Or better yet, "Celebrity Quarters." You can watch your favorite celebs get fucked up on tv. They need to make it completely uncensored, mainly because I want to see Shannon Elizabeth get totally fucked up and get nekkid. Or better yet, see Affleck tell everyone what a whore J.Blo is, or talk about his homoerotic fantasies about Damon or Lee. Don't get me wrong, I liked Affleck when he was working with Kevin Smith, but when he started to get too big for his own ego, I started to hate him. Anyhow, needed to get this out before I forgot it, damn Alzheimers(actually I forget a lot more stuff than I remember these days). It's probably not Alzheimers, just get tired of all the shit I try to keep track of.

I've got another one for you all. In the process of me going to school again, I find myself taking freshman college english. The sad thing is that I've read stuff that not even the professors have heard of, or have heard of but never read. Great works like Joyce's Ulysses or The Dubliners, Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow or The Crying of Lot 49. They consider Grisham a great author. Don't get me wrong he does good stuff for a mass-market, non-intellectual society. I'd rather read and write about stuff that makes you think and ponder your own values and existance(damn I hate that word, I always mis-spell it). These same professors are more intrested in the Rodeo Team or our semi-decent basketball team. The English department is amazed that I have a better than average intelligence. But when I write about things that are near and dear to me whenever I do an essay for classes they don't understand that it's easier to write about things that are important to you than things you don't care about. It's a small school with only 2000 students. No we aren't a private school, but we are in a small town with small town mentalities. I'm not a small town person, but have lived in them most of my life (if you don't count the time in OKC, Dallas, Houston, San Diego, Orlando, Albuquerque, or Tulsa). I kinda miss Tulsa, mainly the Empire Bar-they could pour a great pint of Guiness or Murphey's Stout. Don't really miss OKC, especailly after I had $3000 worth of cd's stolen out of my truck. I called the cops and all they had to say was "if you find out anything, let us know." I told them that if I found out who did it, they'd find the bodies in their sorry excuse for a river. Sorry, I'm not a big fan of Oklahoma, most of the people were cool, but the ones that pissed me off made up for the cool ones.
Orlando was intresting, mainly because I spent time at "Navy World." Any of you who have been in the fleet know exactly what I'm talking about. One really cool thing about that mind-fuck was I got to meet a friend of mine--Dave Ray. Other than that it was pretty bad for someone who has been trying to hold onto sanity for most of his life. I try not to remember much about San Diego mainly because that's where a good friend of mine killed himself.
Dallas was pretty cool, always something to do, no matter what the hour of the day. Another big plus is that Queer Channel Radio is not leading the books, that honor goes to Infinity Broadcasting. All of it is mainly due to Russ Martin. This man talks about whatever he wants. He is better than Howard Stern on a bad day. Houston was good, but most of the women I met there were insane or at least borderline nutcases. I think alot of that has to do with the petrochemicals in their water supply.
I guess all of this goes back to my main quest in life--to find someone who "gets" me. I thought I had found her when I thought I got married (see yesterday's post), only to find out I was being used. Then I thought I found another one, but she went nuts on me and pushed me away when I needed someone most. I'm not exactly a "Saint," but when I give myself to someone, it's completely and totally. But since that one fell apart I dabbled in harlotry, mainly man-whoring (yes, I saw Deuce Bigalow). Hell, I made good money, but not good enough to pay all my bills. Most of my "clients" were ex-girlfriends who were hoping to get me back, or former employees of mine that wanted to see if the rumours were true about me. They never understood that the past is staying there, in the past. The sad thing is that the ones that I wanted I could never get the courage up to asking out. I always see myself as the book-worm I was in high school and jr. high. I was scrawny and not very outgoing in those days. Going to school in a small town pretty much ruined your reputation with the opposite sex. Most of them use to see me as the geeky kids with bad hair. If they saw me now, they'd probably shit their pants. Sure I still have bad hair, no wait, I have no hair. I guess my hair never recovered from boot camp, Dave can testify about how bad those hair cuts can be. But these days I'm anything but scrawny or timid. Most people think I'm crazy because I don't fit in their little idea of how I shoudl be.
I walked into a bar a few weeks back and everyone stopped what they were doing when I walked in the door. First thing they thought was that I'd start some problems and that they don't want to mess with me. Then I ran into an old friend and all of a sudden they weren't as afraid of me. When you are six foot tall, shaved head with a vandyke, and weigh 230 pounds, most people steer clear of you. What is wrong with people these days? I'm the one who looks like he'll kick your ass, but if you treat me right and are honest, you have nothing to worry about. Most people are scared of me and typecast me as being a badass just off of how I look. That's one of the reasons why I can't find a job these days, or even a woman, for that matter.
Ok, enough of me ranting for the night, I need to get some sleep and study for class on Tuesday.

Not a whole hell of a lot to rant about today, but knowing me, I'll find something to bitch about.

One thing that has really gotten me pissed off is the damn mouse I have on my computer. I used to have a really cool one. It was one of the Logitech trackmarbles. It was perfect. I have had it for almost 6 years and about 2 months ago it craopped-out on me. I can't even find something like it so I'm stuck with using this crappy wheel-mouse. Don't people understand that it's better for you to have a stationary mouse as opposed to one you have to move around all the time. It makes it worse for me because I don't have much room for my computer setup, now I'm having to find room for a damn mouse that sucks.

Let's see, by the time I post this, it'll be the anniversary of one of my worst mistakes.
Today would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. I joke all the time that I had a drive-by wedding. At least with the drive-by, it would have been over with quickly. I just don't understand how a woman could be so spiteful and evil as she was. She proposed to me after all. I was only married a tracig 3 months before she went back to her other way of life--Meth. It turnede me into a wreck of a man for a long time. About a year ago I found out that she never even got divorced from her first husband and had been using me for years. SHe's an evil, vindictive person. After years of trying to cope with her shit I've found that she has done this to many men before me and since me as well. Many of her former friends have been talking to me about things she had said about me. She told them that I was mean, controlling and abusive to her. Those things couldn't be further from the truth. I have never raised a hand to a woman (other than my sister when we were kids0(she'd forgiven me since) and was the most compassionate of people to her. If I had been so controlling, how was she able to leave? Because all I cared about was that she was honest to me and was there for me when I needed her just as I've always been there for her. Even after she'd put me thru Hell, I was willing to do anything for her. I told her that she had the power to destroy me and she damn near succeeded. For years I had been bottling up the anguish and bitterness she had instilled into me. Funny thing about holding that much inside, it really screws up your health. Until you learn to get rid of that hurt, it will destroy you. Beacuse of that hurt, my body was falling apart and ripping itself up. Cancer is not a fun disease, believe me. It was killing me quicker than anything else I've known. In May I was given four months without treatment and six months with. Guess what you stupid sons-of-bithces? I'm still alive and stronger than I was ever before. Me bottling up all of the hurt and the bitterness from what she had done to me had been killing me. I had talked to her several times over the years and not once had she been truthful to me. Finally when I had had enough of her shit I finally told her that I want nothing to do with her. Everyone whom she has come in contact with she has hurt and used. Part of me still cares for her, but the person I thought she was never even existed.
I do want to thank one person for giving me the strength to get better and keep going. She had shown me that I deserve someone who is honest and caring. Someone who made me get off of my ass and stand up for what is right in the world. She called me a coward when I told her I wasn't going to fight that damn disease. One thing that a man can not take is being called a coward. I want to apologize to her for having lost my temper and having siad those things to her. I lost my temper because I was afraid that she was playing me like the woman I thought I had been married to adn I'll be damned if I let anyone use me like that again. I say a lot of shit, some of it is hurtful, all of it is true, but I've never said anything meant to hurt to someone I love. Even after I left those messages to her I regretted what I had said. Not a moment has passed that I don't regret losing my temper and losing the friendship of someone like her. Not a day has gone by since the day we had met over a year ago that I haven't dreamt about her or thought about her. She gave me a medallion, becasue she loved me, and that medallion has never left it's place around my neck. Whenever I feel down all I have to do is touch it and it lets me know that no matter how bad things may get, there is always hope. I just want to tell "the midget with freckles" how much she has inspired me to keep going and thank you for giving me the strength and courage to fight with everything I have. If my "bastard son" reads this, do me a favor and take some yellow and red tulips to the person I had you deliver to before and tell her I said "thank you."

Ok, I've been quiet since Wednesday and don't have a whole lot to rant about today. I missed my alarm clock going off yesterday and basically missed classes so I've been in a funk all day yesterday. I spent most of the day playing Total Annihilation on the computer and trying not to clean house. It's really pathetic whenever I have women over all they want is one thing...to play the the damn SIMS. There is so much more to do than play that damn game. The sad thing is that my Sim has a better life than I do. That's the main reason why I don't play it any more. It's too damn depressing to me. That's about it for now, I might do some more later.

Ok, time for the obligatory St. Patricks Day Rant.

I can't believe how gulliable people truly are. Having been a student of theology and comparative religions I know a lot about the subject of the "Christianization" of humanity. Nearly every religious holiday was taken from the older beliefs, aka paganism. Paedrig never used a shamrock to teach the Trinity to the Irish peoples, mainly because the shamrock was introduced to Ireland until after the 11th century. Paedrig or Patrick to those of you who are not of Irish descent, was alive in the 5th Century. He was an Anglo who was enslaved by the Irish in a raid on an English town. He lived for about 15 years as a slave and then escaped back to England (the land of wankers). Felt that he needed to "enlighten" the "savage" peoples of Ireland. For those of you who don't know about these "savages," they were a beautiful and proud people whom had a very strong sense of respect for others and for nature. Christianity is of the mindset that everything on this Earth is to be used up to our hearts content. The true beliefs claim that we should live in harmony with our surroundings and be thankful for everything we recieve. Never once before the coming of Judeo-Christiany-Islam were there any "Holy Wars," nor was there religious persecution. Everyone respected other opinions concerning beliefs and never once tried to convert others to their beliefs. Christianity can not accept other beliefs as being equal. I am furious when people tell me I'm going to hell because I don't have the same beliefs as they do. I don't believe that man was created in (G)od's image, but that man created (G)od in his image. In our patriarchal society, (G)od is male, but in the older beliefs the power resided in females. Who other than a woman can create life. Who else but a woman can care for their children. But yet you ignorant JCM's (Judeo-Christian-Muslims) believe that (G)od is a man. And you really stupid one's believe that Jesus is white is even more absurd. Have you ever seen a person from Israel? They aren't WASP's, but look more Middle-Eastern. But yet it's acceptable for you to judge a man based off of skin color. What if your Messiah were to come back right now? I bet you'd stereotype him as being a "camel jockey" just based off of his appearance. (I really hate using racial slurs like that, but when you live with ignorant peoples, you start to talk like them).

P.S. for those of you whom get pissed off about my rants on religion, let me tell you a bit about my religious back ground.
I am an ordained minister. I hold a Doctorate in Theology. I was raised in a familiy that was mixed in beliefs--Episcopalian and Animist. I have read the Gnostic Gospels. I have also seen that there is NO historical evidence the Jesus even existed. Think about it, the Romans were a very meticulous people, they kept records about everything. But yet, there is no record of anyone Being crucified for causing problems with the temples (as Joseph ibn-Joshua did). I have read every major "holy" book by the major religions. I am also a practicing Wittan (Irish Pagan). One thing I have learned since I became Wittan is that major religions are hypocritcal. Remember that next time you bash someone for not having the same belief as you, you are just part of the problem with relgious intolerance. The least "Christian" people are "Christians." Who will laugh at your misfortune, stab you in the back, kick you when you are down--9 times out of 10, they are "Christians." I have never met a pagan who took advantage of another persons misfortune. Next time you try to tell someone that your religion is right, learn the history of your's and of others beliefs. I find Islam very fascinating, but can't ever follow it mainly because I love my beer and pork products. Every religion has it's positive and negative points, but I find it very hard to follow the word of a man who founded the biggest lie ever. Peter the Apostle claimed to have followed Jesus, but he didn't talk about him until 70 years after Jesus died. I find that kind of ironic that he could have been a follower of Jesus, did all the things he did in his life and didn't document any of it until he would have been in late 90's. Very ironic because most people in those days didn't live much past their 40's or 50's.

Enough for tonight, I have class in the morning.

What the hell is it with some women? Just when I finally get the evil BITCH QUEEN out of my life finally, she starts popping into my dreams. I don't dream like most people, I have very lucid dreams and sometimes I wonder what is a dream and what is reality. Maybe reality is someone's fucked up dream of a fantasy. Maybe reality is the mass delusion of humanity's collective sub-conscience. Hell, I don't know what I'm talking about, but it feels good to blow off some steam every now and then. This is what I get for reading Ulyesses from Joyce, him and his damn train-of-thought style. SOmetimes I feel like my train has been de-railed and everyone on board was killed.

What I would give for some high powered expolsives. There is nothing more infuriating than people who make you change your plans for the day and then don't follow through with what they tried to schedule you to do. People like that deserve to have small peices of their bodies blown off a little at a time. Then again these are the same people who say I need a world class psychologist just to figure me out. I say hey, why do I need help. I express my feelings and thoughts, but don't act on them. The ones who really need the help are the ones who can't express themselves. Those are the ones who are going to go apeshit and start killing people. Me, you don't have to worry about me because I know that I'm Fucked up. Then again if you look at what is considered "Normal" in today's society, I'm glad that I'm fucked-up. At least I'm unique and I don't hurt anyone or use large quantites of mind-altering chemicals (legal and illegal). What's even more fucked up in our society is the music these days. I guess that I'm getting old, but when did music become CRAP?

Just killing time, trying to get a paper edited for class. I really hate this part of the country--no jobs, no nightlife, nothing!!!! That's what I get for moving out into the middle of nowhere Texas. Don't get me wrong, I love Texas, I just hate this part of it. We have damn tourirists (what I call tourists) all over the place. I guess this is where people in the cities want to come to "get back to the simpler life". They trash our towns, say we're uneducated, but they keep saying How quaint it is here. I'm a fifth generation Texan, most of it here in West Texas, and nearly all of it in my town. It makes life hard when you're single, considering you are related to about 90% of the people in town. What I'd give for a chance to get the hell out of here for a few years, but I keep getting sucked back in. This time it's for at least a few years while I finish my degree. After spending 15 years in restaurants and the military, it's time to get that stupid piece of paper. That way it can prove that I can put up wirh 5 years of bullshit. I've been doing that for 15 already, but yet I'm called "uneducated." If I'm uneducated, then how come I can't even find a job waiting tables. Why? Because I'm over-qualified, but not qualified for what I want to do. Wholesale mayhem and destruction is what I want to do. Sure the job is fun, but there is no pay involved. The benefits are incredible--shooting and blowing shit up all the time is a great stress-reliever. After a few months here, I really need the relief.

There is so much in this world that can be done to make it a truly wonderful place, but there are so many assholes out there that screw it up for the rest of us. Sometimes I just wish that someone would come along and clean up the human trash that is running around out there. I'm new to this so please don't hold back on what you think about what I have to say.

Ok, here's my first Blog. I wanna thank Dave Ray for turning me onto this site.